Notes for October 10, 2025.

October 10, 2025. Day .

Impostor syndrome is real. We added a new developer to my current project to "come in and optimize some of the queries". I was (and am) okay with it. I though it might be more difficult to do that than everyone else seemed to think. We're working on an old PHP framework that wasn't too popular in the first place. It has its own funny ways of doing things. So I braced myself for a long process.

Well, the new guy came in and not only did he optimize the queries, he did it in a day. Not all of them, but it's clear he knows what he's doing. Our app is going to be a lot better, and I deserve none of the credit. I've been working on it for months, "optimizing" it in my own way, but this guy just came in and rebuilt the app.

Maybe what I'm feeling isn't impostor syndrome, it's shame. I'm not a terrible developer, but I should have been able to do what he did. I just didn't think it would work, so I didn't try. It seemed like too big a change.

I was brought onto the project to redo the front end, make it look good, and work on phones, and I was doing that when some big changes to the database and the infrastructure the site runs on happened, and I got pulled into the back end, where, it appears, I struggle. I'm pleased I got as much done as I did, but I wish we had brought this new dev in months ago. For one thing, it's somebody to talk to. I've been working on this thing mostly alone. If I get stuck, I'm just stuck.

I guess I still have my job. I suppose I'll be getting back to the front end now. Things could be worse. I just feel chastened.

Picture is from the levee last night at sunset, with a bunch of boats I wish I were sailing away on.

notes impostor syndrome web development Yii 1.1 The Levee boats sunsets